Outside In – Inside Out

If you turn a shirt inside out, then the outside is in. If you reverse your action you have outside out and inside in. Sort of a negative and positive or opposites and same. You could say one way is right and the other is wrong.

I was thinking about situations where people feel disconnected. I have no idea why the shirt thing popped into my mind. Maybe I just needed a visual.

There is the person that is on the outside looking in. They don’t feel a part of things. Perhaps they envy the person or people that they are viewing on the inside.

Then there is the person in a crowd that feels all alone. They withdraw within themselves viewing those outside of them from a distance.

I have experienced both cases a few times in my life and I can tell you it is not a great feeling. Here is what I have learned:

In the first case, get inside and join the crowd. Don’t compare yourself. If you aren’t allowed in, then find a similar group to join. Show up and participate. Be thankful, humble, and kind especially if you are learning a skill or craft. Be strong if you need to stand up for yourself and confront. Set boundaries with gates for yourself. You decide who or what is allowed into your private life. Respect other people’s boundaries. In time you will become known and you will know the people in the group. 

In the second case, venture out of yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and take a risk. Will you make mistakes? Probably, but don’t be discouraged. Making mistakes doesn’t make you a failure. If fact you can learn from your mistakes. Quitting and giving up on yourself will lead to failure. Success isn’t achieved on our own. We need people and they need us. If you have a fear of people, again learn to set boundaries with gates. Your sphere of influence can be as big or small as you choose. Take it slow if you need to. In fact it isn’t a good idea to move too fast. A good thing to consider is how you are influencing others and what effects are they having on you. You want the influence to be positive on both sides. You may have to let someone you love go because you are not good for them or they are not good for you. I know this can be hard but we weren’t made to live in a bubble.

Invest in yourself. Love yourself and take care of yourself. How can you give love if you don’t have it to begin with. Life can be hard and too easy at the same time. I believe this is what makes us go numb and causes us to seek destructive ways to feel. Life is full of paradoxes. It is also grand and wonderful when we have the right mixture of hard and easy.

When things are too easy, challenge yourself. Set goals. When things are too hard, take a breather. Reach out and ask a trusted friend for help. Pray and believe in the goodness of God.

Be all in and all out. Don’t be double minded.

Do you lack the confidence to join an unknown group and get involved?  Do you fear rejection? Rejection can be a positive thing. If someone isn’t interested in you or can’t see your value, then they are probably not a good influence. They will not help you grow and achieve your destiny. Do you fear hurting someone with your rejection? You are doing them a favor because you will not be good for them. Always seek kind ways to let others down. We are going to be hurt and hurt others. It is a given. What we don’t want to do is harm others. There is a difference between hurting and harming. 

When joining a new group, don’t go alone. Have a friend with you. If you don’t have any friends, consider God. Many times, for me, it has just been me and God. People seem to be amazed by my independence. They just don’t know how dependent I am.

If you don’t know God specifically as Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit then seek Him out. You can talk to Him like you would talk to a person. Believe that He hears you. Try it. See what happens.

When you develop a relationship with Him, He will come live in your heart ♥ and you will never feel alone if you believe that He is always with you.

In addition He will divinely connect you to others that He is in relationship with. These people will become family so you never have to be outside-in or inside-out. 

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